I Can't...Yes You CAN!

How many times has your child looked up with you with tears in their eyes and with a quivering voice say, “I can't do it…”

Maybe it’s riding a bike, or completing a homework assignment, or losing weight, or maybe they're afraid of something, like heights, and won’t go up the ladder on the big waterslide. Or worse...you wait in line together...for over an hour in 90 degree heat...slowly climbing a five-story stairway to get to the top of the waterslide and then...your son or daughter tell you they're too scared to go down.

Now what? Do you make them get on the slide and “be brave” or do you walk against the crowd to go down the stairs, saying “sorry, excuse me.” over and over until you reach ground? (Note: my friend had this experience, walked his son down and discussed this behavior with him. His son overcame his fear and loves all thrill rides today).

You and your child are experiencing all kinds of feelings when something like this happens. Maybe you're frustrated, confused, disappointed, embarrassed, and wondering what to do and will your child grow out of this. Maybe they need to get extra help to understand the concept better. Maybe with a little more practice they will get it. 

Life isn't about "Maybes", life is about making good, positive choices.

On the other hand your child is just plain scared, or feels stupid, or klutzy, or unable to control their life. They're looking to you for help or worse they try to hide this fear and avoid the project, or ignore the task, or never put themselves into that particular type of situation again.

Are you an “I can do it person” or do you waver in your own abilities? Like most people sometimes we are that “I can do it person” but at other times we waffle and become indecisive, scared, negative, and frozen in our ability to act.

You can conquer these moments of indecisiveness, negativity, and inaction. It takes work and commitment. It requires learning how to live an empowered life, discovering your inner strength and the power of achievement. You need to open your mind to the possibilities of living an empowered life.

Do you have any idea how many times I have had a student tell me, “I can’t break this board.” Or after the second or third attempt they are scared to break the board and don't want to try anymore. After making sure they haven't injured their hand or foot I tell them, “Of course you can break this board. We've practiced this technique. Look at all the other students who have broken their board. You are at the same level. You can break this board. You need to want to break this board. Relax. Take a breath. Compose your mind. Visualize yourself breaking the board. Are you ready?” When the student tells me they are ready I ask them to turn to the crowd and recommit, “I am going to break this board!”. And you know what? They break the board. When the student was ready that told me they had made the choice to break the board.

This process repeats itself over and over as the student learns more difficult and complex forms. And with each test and board break they become more confident in their abilities. They made a choice, to be a Black Belt. And now they are living and acting upon their choice. And this process is transferable and repeatable in all other areas of their life.

This is the power of positive thinking and reinforced behavior through goal setting, practice, and overcoming challenges. This is a benefit of knowing and practicing Taekwondo and integrating Martial Art values into your life. This is the essence of living a Black Belt life, an empowered life..

Look for my weekly blog providing insights on "Living a Black Belt Life". Please share this with your friends and family.

Thank you for this opportunity to serve you.

Master Chris Berlow, 6th Dan

Professional Martial Artist, Owner, and Author

UMAC Briarcliff

https://www.facebook.com/UMACbriarcliff

http://itsnotaboutthebelt.com/

http://empoweredmastery.com/