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Baby Boomers: Four Questions to Ask Your Parents

Four important questions to ask your aging parents.

It turns out that the parents of baby boomers—the silent generation—may still be living up to their name. Recent research reveals that only 28 percent of boomers’ parents say they regularly discuss money and finances with their family, and 41 percent feel they haven’t discussed their financial situation adequately with their children.1 So the responsibility may fall on boomers to approach their aging parents about money-related issues. Whether your parents are only a few years into retirement or more elderly these four questions are a good starting point for important financial conversations.

1. What do you want? If your parents are hesitant to open up about their finances, this may be a good place to begin. Ask them what they want and expect for the future—financially or in general. Gently inquire about the legacy they want to leave, including their wishes for their home, other property and valuable possessions, as well as any charitable causes they’d like to support. Your parents may be reluctant to discuss these things, and might not have even thought about some of them. Reassure them of the value in communicating now while both parties are still able.

2. Have you thought about long-term care? Perhaps the most important part of this conversation is understanding your parents’ wishes if they can no longer care for themselves physically. Begin by asking if they expect to live in an assisted living facility or nursing home, or if they hope to live with family under these circumstances. Be sure your own expectations and abilities are communicated if they choose the latter, or if you may need to pitch in financially to support their medical needs. Ensure you and your parents understand their health insurance and Medicaid benefits, and ask if they have any type of long-term care coverage.

3. What do I need know? Be sure you know where your parents store their important financial and legal documents and if they have a will or written power of attorney in place. Ask for contact information for any financial and legal professionals they’ve worked with along the way, and confirm you have the updated contact information for extended family members who you may need to reach in the future.

4. Is your retirement income still sufficient? It’s possible that your parents may be struggling to make their retirement savings last. They may have lived to be an older age than they expected when they retired, could be facing expensive health care bills, or their investments may have been affected by the recession. Being aware of their financial situation can help you both set expectations for the future.

Having these conversations with your aging parents can be difficult, but often the biggest challenge is approaching them in a way that encourages honest dialogue among multiple family members. Consider working with a financial professional who can help facilitate these and other conversations while keeping your overall financial plan and goals in mind.

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Due to industry regulations, I cannot respond to your questions and comments underneath my blog, but please feel free to contact me directly via email at Steven.B.Gross@ampf.com or via phone at 914-923-6490 ext. 310.This communication is published in the United States for residents of New York only; and this advisor is licensed only in the states of PA, CT, MD, GA, NJ, NC, FL, MA, ME

Jay Gussak August 28, 2012 at 09:55 pm
Ummm...what does this have to do with the above article???
Vegas August 28, 2012 at 09:56 pm
Blah blah blah liberal, blah blah blah environmental wacko, blah blah blah Obama voter.
Bob Zahm August 28, 2012 at 09:58 pm
@Steve Gross - great questions. This topic is incredibly uncomfortable for many, but starting the conversation can be a great way to getting fear / anxiety out in the open where it can be addressed.
John Taggart August 28, 2012 at 11:06 pm
My elderly neighbors died within 3 days of each other. One was expected the other followed as love does...It was very hard on the kids, (adult kids) they spent weeks searching and finding all the important deeds and papers....thats #3 good article
Aidan August 28, 2012 at 11:12 pm
Forelle, this is Mission Control. You there?
Nummy August 28, 2012 at 11:57 pm
Do you own any guns Forelle?
Will McAvoy August 30, 2012 at 12:54 am
Question five why is Obama president
CK August 30, 2012 at 01:49 am
@William: Answer: GW Bush
Will McAvoy August 30, 2012 at 02:20 am
he was much better than Obama is and it's Mr. McAvoy to you
Scuba-doos and Scuba-donts August 30, 2012 at 02:42 am
Okay gentlemen lets keep it friendly and related to the article... @John Taggart that is such a shame and shows how important it is for us to know important information about our parents.
CK August 30, 2012 at 04:12 am
@ Mr. McAvoy: I know! He was. much better! Confuses me why neither he nor puppet master Cheney (architect of 9/22) weren't invited to speak at the RNC tonight. What gives w dat? (Staring up at my fading Mission Accomplished poster) Sorry Scuba. Off topic and leaving now.

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Share something with your neighbors. Write a new post... What's up? Make an announcement, speak your mind, or sell something
Mickey Rivers June 19, 2013 at 12:14 pm
Yes counselor, you do have a way with torturing the truth and the facts to fit your version ofRead More reality. It seriously erodes your credibility. The jury pool (residents of Briarcliff) is quite educated and sees through your court room antics. Continuously insulting intelligent people is a poor strategy to win them over to your view.
McKey Rivers June 19, 2013 at 05:13 pm
Laura and Sal, do yourselves and the rest of us a favor and ride off peacefully into the sunset.Read More Sal, if you desire to end your time with the Board with a sense of conclusion, no open ends, admit that you and the other BOE members improperly campaigned for approval of the defeated budget. At that point there would be nothing for Mr. Wasserman to pursue and you would be performing a service for future Boards and the Briarcliff community in giving an actual case study in how a Board of Education should not conduct itself. Otherwise, it may be necessary for State officials to intervene and admonish the school district for your actions as happened several years ago when your friends June, Lisa and Stacy sat on the Board and violated State law.
Mickey Rivers June 19, 2013 at 05:36 pm
Actually, it would be terrific if State Officials intervened - to investigate Paul Wasserman, LouisRead More Linder and their operatives. Be careful what you ask for counselor, you may get it - in spades!
Lisa Buchman (Editor) June 17, 2013 at 02:43 pm
What are folks hearing about tomorrow's vote? Will there be a good turnout at the polls?
Briarcliff PTA Executive Board June 18, 2013 at 10:02 am
We are hoping for a great turnout today. Briarcliff school district residents, please urge yourRead More neighbors and friends to get out and vote!
Lisa Buchman (Editor) June 17, 2013 at 03:04 pm
Thanks Kathleen - important information about a significant part of the pet population!
Lisa Buchman (Editor) June 17, 2013 at 03:05 pm
Thanks Kathleen! Important information about a nice way to connect senior pets with senior humans!
W Obermeyer June 11, 2013 at 02:29 pm
I am afraid we may be experiencing the calm before another storm. Most likely the aftermath of theRead More BOE budget hearing tonight will be more of a nightmare than a pleasant dream.
Lisa Jenner June 11, 2013 at 02:36 pm
I am afraid that when people become civilized, they become silent.
Lisa Buchman (Editor) June 12, 2013 at 11:42 am
Thanks for putting yourself out there, Lisa! I hope others can contribute meaningfully to anyRead More discussion of community issues brought forth by thoughtful readers like you.
Brandon June 12, 2013 at 09:36 am
This is brilliant!
Mae Isaac June 12, 2013 at 09:49 am
This would be wonderful - I dread trying to drive to any of the schools that way. What about a leftRead More turn lane on to Pleasantville Road from 100 for school days? It might help those of us who live so close and yet have to drive in the opposite directions to reach the schools!
Tim June 14, 2013 at 07:53 am
Great idea in the mean time while we wait another 10 years maybe drivers could keep to the left whenRead More turning left, instead of blocking peeps trying to turn right. Also drivers need to stop blocking the entrance to Dunkin donuts etc.
Mickey Rivers June 11, 2013 at 09:52 am
Mr. O'Reilly is asking good questions in his post. I respect him for his approach. These areRead More difficult questions and as school districts continue to be squeezed at both ends (spiraling cost of benefit and pension costs at one end and tax-cap compliance choking the revenue side at other end) they will all continue be faced with these difficult questions. If school districts wait too long to develop reasonable decision trees to solve these issues, then our meddling friends in Albany will feel compelled to swoop in and screw it up royally. It is in our collective best interests to begin work now to develop and apply a thought process and resolution matrix to this issue before Albany does it for us. That requires two things. First, communities must put aside their differences and work together in a "non-partisan" manner toward local solutions that work for their district. Next, districts must collaborate and share ideas in an effort to share their ideas and help each other. At the moment, no one has the answers to Mr. O'Reilly's questions. I respect him for asking these questions and not offering solutions or opinions in his post. I also respect him for not calling out any particular district as we all all know these are issues that all districts faced this year universally. This issue will begin to compound annually if we all don't find a way to pull together and work towards solutions.
Lisa Jenner June 11, 2013 at 10:26 am
As a retired school teacher who is collecting a pension (to which I contributed for many years) andRead More is still using benefits (to which I contribute), let's remember that it is not only the teachers' pension and benefits that are squeezing the school budgets, but also, as the Briarcliff BOE pointed out, all those unfunded mandates. All of the BOEs have their hands tied regarding so many of their expenditures, that they will have to cut programs. Excellent questions, Mr. O'Reilly.
Mickey Rivers June 11, 2013 at 03:30 pm
Unfunded mandates are also a big issue for school districts. However, the teachers pensions andRead More benefits are a huge issue that must be addressed and recalibrated. It is time for teacher's pensions and benefits to be remodeled to look like those in the private sector. In the private sector, pensions are all but extinct - replaced largely by 401(k) plans (and in the case of teachers 403(b) plans where contributions are made by the employee. In terms of health benefits, in the private sector most companies pay a maximum of 60% of an employee's health care (and other benefits) premiums - not the 80% that is paid by school districts for teachers. This is financially unsustainable and needs to be addressed before it bankrupts school districts.
robin June 11, 2013 at 10:52 am
Mr. Borrel-Sorry if I came across as confrontational, that was not my intention. You should handleRead More your concerns as you think is best, however, I don't know what you will accomplish voicing your opinion in the Patch. It should also be noted, according to several high school teachers, that there are students who bring budget discussions into the classrooms.
Jay Borrel June 11, 2013 at 11:29 am
Thank you for your comments. I am sure that students do discuss, but the educator should addressRead More from a neutral stand point, just like an open discussion about religion or other politics.
Lisa Jenner June 11, 2013 at 12:25 pm
As a former high school teacher, I was constantly fending off attempts by students to divert me fromRead More teaching, and current events, local or otherwise, were a popular means to this end. Having said that, I, too, have heard of teachers "pontificating" about the budget, which, of course, is totally inappropriate. Let's hope the teachers in Briarcliff do know better and that the administration keeps a watchful eye. On a totally different topic, I have to laugh, Robin, at you looking in the directory for Mr. Borrel. The directory is my first resource for all people Briarcliff, forgetting they might not have children in the schools.
JanFisher June 8, 2013 at 10:05 pm
This is truly progress. Will both of you be taking down your negative comments now to really andRead More meaningfully get the ball rolling and to move beyond mere words? It will be good work when it is backed by real actions. I have not posted anything negative this entire time so really nothing has been accomplished yet except promises to behave. But I am truly glad that both of you are now committed to a standard of decency in public exchanges. Have a great weekend!
Lisa Jenner June 8, 2013 at 11:41 pm
I have read and re-read Mr. O'Reilly's thoughts on the BOE meeting and I will try to be fair aboutRead More this. I will admit that Mr. O'Reilly used some choice adjectives (strange, mysterious, nefarious) and asked a couple of somewhat inflammatory rhetorical questions (Will Mr. Wasserman serve his BOE time on the baseball diamond?), but I would suggest that if you disregard the rhetoric, he has presented a fairly factual presentation of what transpired at the meeting. Do you disagree?
JanFisher June 9, 2013 at 05:54 am
Lisa - my decision to write at all was out of excitement about the opportunity to help infuseRead More decency into these public exchanges. I have had my say and it has been positive. Quite honestly, I think the community at-large and the Briarcliff community are really tired of all of the public infighting on the Patch. I am committed to our schools and children and I choose to use my very limited free time and energy to volunteer for the schools when I can. Again, I do have many opinions and would love to speak with you in person- maybe we can do some good together. My cell - 439-0203.