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Caring for Aging Parents: Don’t Wing It

Having a long-term road map and a savings plan in place can help you care for your parents in the way they desire while enabling you to continue working towards your financial goals.

As the boomers and their parents age, more and more family members are managing eldercare responsibilities. The emotional, physical and financial demands of caring for aging parents can be extensive. What’s more, the healthcare needs of aging parents can become overwhelmingly expensive — and may include costs that affect their family members in ways that aren’t immediately apparent.

Healthcare and finances aren’t easy topics for many families to broach. In fact, research from the Money Across Generations IISM study shows that 36 percent of boomers’ parents feel that healthcare discussions with their family members are likely or very likely to create tension or spark an argument.1

Having a long-term road map and a savings plan in place can help you care for your parents in the way they desire while enabling you to continue working towards your financial goals. This can be helpful in making informed short-term decisions, especially when there are unexpected expenses and emotions involved.

To get started:

  • Talk about finances now. While it may be uncomfortable for your parents to discuss their finances with you, it’s essential that you are familiar with their financial strategy and resources. This includes knowing what type of medical, disability and long-term care insurance they have and what those policies cover. Use this information – along with if and how much you’re willing to help from your own funds – to evaluate which healthcare options are realistically within reach when medical needs arise. 
  • Create a contact list. Medical emergencies and sudden changes in a person’s health can happen as parents age. Because you may eventually need access to your parents’ bank accounts and other financial resources on short notice, make sure they’ve compiled a list of account numbers, computer login names and passwords, and the names, addresses and phone numbers of the professionals they work with. In addition to knowing the location of the list, you’ll also need to know the location of important financial and legal documents and lockbox keys.
  • Identify current healthcare costs and needs. Become familiar with the medical and pharmaceutical costs that your parent(s) currently incur and determine if there are ways to reduce these expenses. For example, you or your parents may consider moving from a name brand to a generic prescription or, instead of filling prescriptions at your local pharmacy, ordering a long-term supply from a mail-order provider.
  • Build a support network. Talk with siblings or other family members, neighbors and industry professionals to determine who can help you care for your aging parents — and in what capacity and at what cost. Proactively establishing a support network can help you avoid a strain on your time and energy down the road. 
  • Anticipate future lifestyle changes and challenges. Even if they aren’t yet needed, explore the costs of in-home, senior apartment, assisted living and memory care housing and services, as well as the costs of having a parent live with you. This includes determining whether your home would need to be modified to provide additional space or comforts, such as wheelchair access. Understanding these costs ahead of time can help you identify what you and your parents can afford and will give you time to consider the pros and cons of each option.
  • Become familiar with assistance programs. Your parents may qualify for government programs, supplements or services. Visit the government hosted benefits site—www.Govbenefits.gov—for information. Also, your county or city has a federally-mandated Area Agency on Aging staffed by professionals who can provide you with information about elder programs and services in your area.
  • Keep your retirement goals in mind. Continue to manage your budget and save for your future. Be mindful that leaving the workforce even temporarily, may seem tempting—and in some cases may be necessary—but exiting and re-entering affects your immediate income and can impact your ability maintain your earning power. What’s more, it can impact your ability to take advantage of an employer-sponsored retirement plan. Consider these factors when you evaluate the total costs of any option.
  •  Know your rights at work. The Federal Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993 (FMLA) allows covered employees up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave to provide care for a family member with a serious health condition.2 If you are caring for a parent, inform your Human Resources department about your situation to take advantage of this legal protection, if relevant, and create a workable plan within your company’s policies.

Thinking about caring for an ill or aging parent isn’t always easy to do, but creating a plan now can save you headaches down the road when new circumstances may suddenly arise as your parents age. Consider working with a financial advisor who can help you plan for unexpected expenses and prepare for the costs of healthcare during your own retirement.

Due to industry regulations, I cannot respond to your questions and comments underneath my blog, but please feel free to contact me directly via email at Steven.B.Gross@ampf.com or via phone at 914-923-6490 ext. 310. This communication is published in the United States for residents of New York only; and this advisor is licensed only in the states of PA, CT, MD, GA, NJ, NC, FL, MA, ME.

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Sonny (Louis) Linder May 18, 2013 at 06:06 am
Thanks, Jon - you raise important considerations and in a calm, dispassionate way, which IRead More appreciate. As for alternative funding mechanisms, in hindsight I believe they should have been examined and addressed this earlier this year had the decision-making been opened up to the public in a completely bidirectional manner much earlier in this year's budget cycle. A real take-away from this situation, in my opinion, is that we in the community were not given the opportunity to sit down together with sharpened pencils in a public forum and allowed to vet and actually challenge the Administration's assumptions in order to arrive at budget alternatives with the Administration and Board. The comparison you make with Washington is indeed apt in that it reflects the way decisions have slid back to being made in a vacuum and handed down to the voters instead of in a democratic fashion based on budget-to-actuals instead of budget-to-budget figures combined with the practice of over-reserving for expense items while under-estimating revenues. Although the Board did indeed reach out to me and 2 others asking for suggestions, when we re-iterated our request for an open meeting format to include other financially savvy community members, these requests were consistently ignored. Which is why we are in the current position we are in having to decide on Tues on a tax levy cap-busting budget requiring 60% super-majority. Which the public will decide, of course, and we will live with the consequences: either it passes, or the Board and Administration will be forced to rein in the excesses. And much as I love open debate, I restate that online posting leaves does leave a lot to be desired. Let's continue to share, but not face-to-face. Respectfully - Sonny
Jon Satran May 18, 2013 at 12:16 am
Sonny, I like the idea of brainstorming together, thinking outside of the box, but there are someRead More major obstacles that I think you need to consider: 1) A Bond referendum requires a 45 days’ notice period. It cannot be presented for a vote before this year's budget process is concluded. 2) To release reserves based on the hope that a future bond vote would be successful is reckless. What happens if reserves are released and then the bond referendum fails? You would not risk your home finances with this type of risk, would you really risk your school’s financial health? 3) Our tax certiorari reserve was just recently reviewed in consultation with our attorneys and we are appropriately reserved for today’s commercial real estate market. 4) Most importantly, this proposal would create a larger and tougher tax increase next year. In other words, adding $1,000,000 of revenue this year through a loan would require replacing that revenue with an additional $1,000,000 again next year and the year after. Borrow and spend economics does not work as we have seen from the national level. Deficit spending, which has been suggested may or may not work in Washington, but it certainly does not in Briarcliff Manor. When the school’s reserves are exhausted, we will face impactful program cuts or much larger tax levy increases. Respectfully - Jon Satran
Sonny (Louis) Linder May 17, 2013 at 02:23 pm
Thanks for the insight. I would encourage all interested parties to weigh in on these importantRead More issues.
JanFisher May 17, 2013 at 10:55 pm
It is so wonderful that, recognizing the importance of STEM and following the recommendation of ourRead More educators, Sal Maglietta and Jon Satran agreed to bring on the district's first director of instructional technology.
McKey Rivers May 10, 2013 at 07:36 pm
Thank you Dr. Sternberg for your thoughtful letter. You hit on an important facet of this electionRead More few if any others have stated: electing Mr. Wasserman and/or Mr. Linder will provide the added benefit of diversity of thought as the Board continues to address difficult, ongoing educational and financial issues. There is a woeful absence of synergy produced by articulation of different views among the current Board members. The absence of a “check and balance” on the current Board is reflected in the inexplicable decision to cancel the May 13 BOE meeting (scheduled since last summer), which is the last meeting prior to the May 21 budget vote and board election. Is there no business for the Board to conduct at this critical juncture or could it be that the Board does not want Briarcliff residents to hear members of the community question the Board about the proposed budget right before the election? Electing either Mr. Linder and/or Mr. Wasserman will immediately benefit the public as the highest vote getter will be seated on May 22 and thus participate in formulating a second budget for public vote that, notwithstanding current BOE scare tactics, can be tax levy compliant and not involve additional program elimination or reduction. There is no doubt that electing Mr. Wasserman and/or Mr. Linder to the Briarcliff School Board will substantially benefit the entire Briarcliff community and provide a much needed check on Board decision making.
Herman Sexton May 10, 2013 at 03:48 pm
Electing Paul Wasserman alone would add a diversity of thought. The guy hears at least a dozenRead More voices in his head. Have you ever spoken to him? Did you pay attention when he was running for Congress for a few weeks? Ugh.
W Obermeyer May 10, 2013 at 03:41 pm
Not too diffiicult to play with figures. Look at the budget decrease and the increase in state aid,Read More then claim the budget is actually less.
Mike Valenti May 1, 2013 at 04:50 pm
Second, Mr. Sternberg comments “The previous Board reversed that trend but now a new schoolRead More Board reversed that and we are back to square one.” This is without question factually and ideologically incorrect. The previous Board, populated by Janet Marinaccio, Guy Rotundo, Eric Bashford and Rosella Ranno, were sponsored by the folks in our District who are of the fiscal conservative/tea-party-like taxation ideology. Yes, they aggressively cut the school budget over the course of their term. However, this year’s school budget is actually lower than last years. So, to suggest that the current Board has reversed tack on this issue is factually incorrect.
Mike Valenti May 1, 2013 at 04:49 pm
I commend Mr. Sternberg for his thoughtful, well written letter. However, I must take issue withRead More several of his points. First, he offers an analysis of various interests in our District and their motives regarding our school budget. If I may, here is another more simplified viewpoint. The predominance of District residents moved here for the school district (whether for its value to their children or its value for their real estate). These folks have a very supportive ideology with respect to taxation in support of the District. On the other side of the ledger stands a group who has a fiscal conservative, tea-party-like taxation ideology. They seek to cut, cut, cut with disregard to the integrity and depth of the educational program and resources. (continued)...