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Caring for Aging Parents: Don’t Wing It

Having a long-term road map and a savings plan in place can help you care for your parents in the way they desire while enabling you to continue working towards your financial goals.

As the boomers and their parents age, more and more family members are managing eldercare responsibilities. The emotional, physical and financial demands of caring for aging parents can be extensive. What’s more, the healthcare needs of aging parents can become overwhelmingly expensive — and may include costs that affect their family members in ways that aren’t immediately apparent.

Healthcare and finances aren’t easy topics for many families to broach. In fact, research from the Money Across Generations IISM study shows that 36 percent of boomers’ parents feel that healthcare discussions with their family members are likely or very likely to create tension or spark an argument.1

Having a long-term road map and a savings plan in place can help you care for your parents in the way they desire while enabling you to continue working towards your financial goals. This can be helpful in making informed short-term decisions, especially when there are unexpected expenses and emotions involved.

To get started:

  • Talk about finances now. While it may be uncomfortable for your parents to discuss their finances with you, it’s essential that you are familiar with their financial strategy and resources. This includes knowing what type of medical, disability and long-term care insurance they have and what those policies cover. Use this information – along with if and how much you’re willing to help from your own funds – to evaluate which healthcare options are realistically within reach when medical needs arise. 
  • Create a contact list. Medical emergencies and sudden changes in a person’s health can happen as parents age. Because you may eventually need access to your parents’ bank accounts and other financial resources on short notice, make sure they’ve compiled a list of account numbers, computer login names and passwords, and the names, addresses and phone numbers of the professionals they work with. In addition to knowing the location of the list, you’ll also need to know the location of important financial and legal documents and lockbox keys.
  • Identify current healthcare costs and needs. Become familiar with the medical and pharmaceutical costs that your parent(s) currently incur and determine if there are ways to reduce these expenses. For example, you or your parents may consider moving from a name brand to a generic prescription or, instead of filling prescriptions at your local pharmacy, ordering a long-term supply from a mail-order provider.
  • Build a support network. Talk with siblings or other family members, neighbors and industry professionals to determine who can help you care for your aging parents — and in what capacity and at what cost. Proactively establishing a support network can help you avoid a strain on your time and energy down the road. 
  • Anticipate future lifestyle changes and challenges. Even if they aren’t yet needed, explore the costs of in-home, senior apartment, assisted living and memory care housing and services, as well as the costs of having a parent live with you. This includes determining whether your home would need to be modified to provide additional space or comforts, such as wheelchair access. Understanding these costs ahead of time can help you identify what you and your parents can afford and will give you time to consider the pros and cons of each option.
  • Become familiar with assistance programs. Your parents may qualify for government programs, supplements or services. Visit the government hosted benefits site—www.Govbenefits.gov—for information. Also, your county or city has a federally-mandated Area Agency on Aging staffed by professionals who can provide you with information about elder programs and services in your area.
  • Keep your retirement goals in mind. Continue to manage your budget and save for your future. Be mindful that leaving the workforce even temporarily, may seem tempting—and in some cases may be necessary—but exiting and re-entering affects your immediate income and can impact your ability maintain your earning power. What’s more, it can impact your ability to take advantage of an employer-sponsored retirement plan. Consider these factors when you evaluate the total costs of any option.
  •  Know your rights at work. The Federal Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993 (FMLA) allows covered employees up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave to provide care for a family member with a serious health condition.2 If you are caring for a parent, inform your Human Resources department about your situation to take advantage of this legal protection, if relevant, and create a workable plan within your company’s policies.

Thinking about caring for an ill or aging parent isn’t always easy to do, but creating a plan now can save you headaches down the road when new circumstances may suddenly arise as your parents age. Consider working with a financial advisor who can help you plan for unexpected expenses and prepare for the costs of healthcare during your own retirement.

Due to industry regulations, I cannot respond to your questions and comments underneath my blog, but please feel free to contact me directly via email at Steven.B.Gross@ampf.com or via phone at 914-923-6490 ext. 310. This communication is published in the United States for residents of New York only; and this advisor is licensed only in the states of PA, CT, MD, GA, NJ, NC, FL, MA, ME.

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Share something with your neighbors. Write a new post... What's up? Make an announcement, speak your mind, or sell something
W Obermeyer May 21, 2013 at 01:13 pm
It would be funny were it not so sad. I recall seeing and hearing quite a lot of mud being slungRead More recently, in an unseemly manner, but by whom I wonder?
McKey Rivers May 21, 2013 at 12:51 pm
Mike, please try to keep it together later and don't be acting out again. The last thing theRead More community needs is another schools related criminal harassment case.
Jay Borrel May 21, 2013 at 12:42 pm
WRONG!
McKey Rivers May 21, 2013 at 12:56 pm
OMG!!! Is someone referring to Stacy Agona's experience on the School Board as a basis in decidingRead More how to vote today? Oh wait, that's her husband. One of my favorite Stacy moments on the school board was when, after having been a trustee for a year, a reference was made during a public meeting to the "reserve fund" and she blurted out, "What's that?"
Jay Borrel May 21, 2013 at 12:42 pm
There is nothing respectful about Mr. Valenti. While telling us that everyone else uses ugly andRead More negative campaigning, he forces his message down our throats with his constant badgering and pushing. And, while I do disagree with Mr. Agona at least he is a voice less heard, however a home buyer will definitely think twice when seeing that our schools are not ranked at the top, but our spending is. A home buyer would definitely think twice when seeing that our board went against the levy and asked for more. A home buyer will think twice when seeing that our board underhandedly appointed a superintendent with out any notice to the community of a vacancy. These are trustees, but how can we trust them. With regards to understanding the budget or not, a home buyer only sees the surface and there will be NO TRUST in this community if we do the wrong thing.
Rod Agona May 21, 2013 at 12:20 pm
Empty Nesters and everyone else: I respectfully disagree with Mr. Borrel on his post. There areRead More many reasons behind why the budget proposal by the BOE and the administrators exceeds the tax cap guideline. I ask that you check my wife’s posting in the Patch for more insight but I will not repeat here. From personal experience, my perspective is that young parents looking to buy a home will research many things including the community support for the schools. It is fairly common to look into school board budget voting as an impartial indicator of the community's support. Imagine you are deciding between towns X and Y and then you hear that town X voted down the budget. You won’t research any further if this is important to you. You will move on to another place where there is more support. Please consider this into your decision when voting today. A vote for the budget approval will do a great service to the protection of our real estate values, not to mention preserve educational excellence in the eyes of the experts we are currently paying to make those recommendations. I believe most Briarcliff residents will agree with me as evidenced by the fact that there has not been a budget rejection by the public in decades. I would also like to personally congratulate the current Briarcliff BOE trustees for being the only school district in Westchester County to propose a lower budget than they did the prior year. Vote YES to the proposed Briarcliff budget. Vote JON SATRAN and SAL MAGLIETTA for BOE trustees.
Mike Valenti May 21, 2013 at 03:36 pm
It is Election Day in Briarcliff. There are TWO school board seats up for grabs and a budget to beRead More voted on. Please join me in voting for JON SATRAN and SAL MAGLIETTA to continue their terms as school board trustees. Please also join me in voting YES on the proposed school budget. Your vote for JON and SAL is a vote FOR continued TRANSPARENCY, RESPECT, COMMUNITY VOICE, COLLABORATION, PARTNERSHIP, CIVILITY, FISCAL PRUDENCE and MUCH MORE. Moreover, your vote for JON and SAL is a vote AGAINST the type of UGLY, NEGATIVE, MUDSLINGING campaigning you are witnessing (especially in these final, desperate hours) from the Linder/Wasserman camp. If we are ever to see this type of campaigning cease we must SPEAK LOUD AND CLEAR and SEND A MESSAGE that it does NOT appeal to us here in Briarcliff and we will NOT support the candidates forwarded or supported by those who conduct themselves in this unseemly manner. Please VOTE YES for JON and SAL. Please VOTE NO for SLEAZY SMALL-TOWN POLITICS. Respectfully, Mike Valenti
Jay Borrel May 21, 2013 at 01:04 pm
Wouldn't it be great if Mike Valenti moved out of Briarcliff?
Jay Borrel May 21, 2013 at 09:31 am
Hey Mike, the only thing worse than a tax hike and a secret appointment of a superintendent with outRead More looking at other candidates is your wasting our time with endless BS
Jay Borrel May 21, 2013 at 01:05 pm
Wouldn't it be great if Mike Valenti moved out of Briarcliff?
Gargamel May 21, 2013 at 07:26 am
Jay: more like Poooofff! Time to back to the North State Spa
Jay Borrel May 20, 2013 at 09:57 pm
Mr. Valenti your small mind is imploding
Jay Borrel May 21, 2013 at 08:25 pm
Wow Eric, how can I be hiding? I live here, you can look me up. I doesn't take much research orRead More rocket science. See you on the other side.
Kevin Zawacki (Editor) May 21, 2013 at 03:00 pm
Hi all -- lively discussion is fantastic and encouraged, but any personal and/or ad hominem attacksRead More will be deleted. Thanks for your cooperation.
Eric Nadler May 21, 2013 at 02:39 pm
As I write this I know that it is a mistake but I can't let it go. Mr. Rivers and Mr. Borrel pleaseRead More unmask yourselves. At least Ms. Agona and Mr Valenti (and myself) have the decency to make our views know publicly. By all means you have the right to voice your opinions but to do so under the guise of anonymity is what I would call cowardly. How can the voting public take your comments seriously if you don't have the gumption to stand behind them in public for the community to see. With that said - Mr Rivers, Mr Borrell take off your masks! Let's have a dialog face to face.
Jay Borrel May 21, 2013 at 01:06 pm
Wouldn't it be great if Mike Valenti moved out of Briarcliff?
W Obermeyer May 20, 2013 at 03:07 pm
I wonder why the voice of reason is suddenly so vocal? Reminds me of some earlier exchanges, if youRead More have read one you have read them all.
The Real Herman Sexton May 20, 2013 at 02:57 pm
oh wow, let's relive the attempted election of Mike Valenti several years ago. We went throughRead More this, proved I was a resident, etc. Anyway, does anyone know anyone in Briarcliff more annoying than Mike Valenti